this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize