no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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