What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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