I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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