did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I lost the right to judge tonight
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize