but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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