The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
