I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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