gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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