I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
