what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
