Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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