Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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