Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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