Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
