this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
