the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
