I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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