morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Panties = found
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