Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
