I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize