Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
No subtext here. People are naked.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
