the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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