i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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