So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
