Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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