i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
