i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Randomize
