i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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