I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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