The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
