you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
