no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I will be naked everywhere
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
