when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
