yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize
