whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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