i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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