I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
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