4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
