and you said cock pushups were impossible
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
