so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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