watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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