after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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