We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
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