Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
