She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
