I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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