in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
