just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
