I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
