She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize