You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
