please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Randomize