On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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