you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
