I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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