another moral hangover. fuck.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
