Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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